i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
