how can u be prego again
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
