I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
