And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
