So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
