great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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