...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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