gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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