I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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