On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
