Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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