So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do vagina's smell?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
