I just gift wrapped bread.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
