She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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