if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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