My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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