Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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