Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Semen is not good for contacts.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
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