dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize