its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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