he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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