I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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