margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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