we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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