I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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