She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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