we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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