If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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