fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
