She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
