Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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