It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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