party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
