they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm having to shit out rocks
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
