i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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