Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
