i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
