My room smells like vodka and shame
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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