Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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