Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He passed out mid-signature
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
