Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
