I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize