I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
