Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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