"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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