based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We're hate flirting, damnit.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
