hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
