Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize