I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
