They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
