Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is the high leading the old right now
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
