I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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