so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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