Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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