that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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