Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
